I always seem to find myself in very peculiar situations...
By Chris Deraleau
i always seem to find myself in very peculiar situations.... or so it has always seemed to be that way.. now, im right here in the theme, ill bring you right into it i suppose just like it was for myself.. i always was in a line for the showers at the end of the night, but not for the same reason as the others.. frequently, i was always the last man out on the compound, save the few bike riding correctional officers, making sure the last doors were locked, and perimeter secured. i always got a kind wave from them before i headed in, i was known on that compund as the facilitys main porter. truth be told, i was such a trusted worker, that, had i been seen carrying a fully-automatic assault rifle through the yard, the officers would have looked at eachother, shrugged and said in a kind bill murray type of way, "hell, thats just deraleau. whatever hes doing, hes got it". in just a few months of my arrival at trumbull correctional in ohio, i had acquired a kitchen detail job with Ms. Hart, i worked maintenance as a compound painter for deputy warden Stuart and jackson. i painted n.f.l. canvses for the major, and when jane eileen timpkin, a senator for ohio came to visit, it was me that the deputy warden asked to paint her a coaster. i took a square piece of wood and sanded out a fine coaster for her. i took coffee and mixed it into a small cup of warm water until it was the colour of wood stain, painted the wood until it absorbed the deep brown liquid, dried it, then used floor wax i got from the education department when i was waxing the floors. i painted her name across an ohio background and was even able to speak with her about her time in harvard as i gave her her gift. she liked my coaster and gave me a warm sense of genuine appreciation. i spoke with her about my life, and she was kind enough to listen.. i hope she is well. and yes, its true, i stole a bottle of floor wax while i was buffing the floors during winter break. i filled up a vitamin bottle with just enough, as to wax my charcoal drawings so they wouldn't smear. it was wrong bottom line, but i knew i wasn't going to do anything terrible with the product, i suppose i justified it in that sense. Mr. Morgan was the older officer that worked the front metal detector. he used to call me dealy plaza, we talked often about the kennedy assassination in dallas texas, and sometime during my time there working and knowing him, i acquired that nick name. he used to call me a charlatain, im smiling now as i write this. he was the kind of man you could have an on-going joke with that even on a bad day, he could make you smile, and he did.. he used to see me as i came in and look up and back over at calender next to his desk and say, " come on december 17th.." that was my supposed release date, for i was taking college level courses to get 90 days off of my sentence. the class was for auto-cad and inventor, they are drafting courses, and i did complete the courses and i did get the 90 days off. morgan would say, " i saw you slinking down the side walk on the camera, and i knew you were coming". some days id tried to sneak in on him without him knowing. id slide in quietly somedays and catch him off gaurd, and open the door and hed look up from his desk, eyes magnified behind his glasses and id say... "yeah.... thats right.". hed grab a pen or something from off his desk and act like he would toss it at me, then id slip back out the door... id see him laughing as i passed he windows outside.. and that was always a man i had a great respect for, and he teated me very. and mr. morgan, if you ever read this, i apologize for the floor wax..