Something Funny

I promised you a little something funny from my workplace, here it is: however, to truly appreciate the clever wit that was put into this, there are a few things you need to know.

1) At my Unicor job we assemble "MASON JARS" for a company called Tecnocap, to do this we take the "FLAT TOP/LID" and load it into a threaded "BAND" which is then screwed atop a "JAR". These "LIDS, BANDS and JARS" are then loaded into boxes and those boxes are loaded onto "PALLETS" for shipping.
2) Our prison issued clothing is "KHAKI and BROWN T-SHIRTS" but if we have money we can buy "GRAY T-SHIRTS".
3) As with any work place we have Safety requirements and so we have at our disposal "EYE WASH  STATIONS and EMERGENCY SHOWER DROPS", to quickly wash off any chemicals or such we might get exposed to.
4) "T-REX" is a guy that works with us, he is small, AND his arms are way to short for his body, hence the moniker "T-REX"
5) My office and the Unicor Factory is commonly referred to as, THE MAYORS MANSION".
6) We have a hot-water pot available for coffee and such, do to its available water temperature of 190, we call it the 190
7) When handling thousands of Mason Jars, we occasionally drop one or two and break them
8) In all Federal Prisons our most common form of money is the postal stamp.

 With this information, here is my funny story.

A little while back I was walking around that factory looking at the prospectus for work to be done when I came across a bulletin taped to a stack of boxes, it read:

PARTY AT THE THE MAYORS MANSION
LET YOUR INNER DOG OUT

Khaki suits and makeshift ties required
Bring your own beverages and food/ no freeloaders
Don't miss the bash of the century

Pallet dancing and activities on premises.

Non disclosure form needed
Enjoy the festivities with the MAN, the MYTH, the LEGEND ... THE MAYOR

ATTENTION: RSVP ONLY

I chuckled and continued my walk ... these bulletins were taped everywhere. I looked around and the guys were watching me and snickering. I smiled and kept moving along. After seeing that I didn't take offense to the first bulletin a second one appeared. It read.

IT'S PARTY TIME @ THE MAYORS MANSION

Don't miss the bash of the century
We're going to blow the Lids and Bands off this bitch
It's gonna be a jar dropping experience
:Live table/pallet dancing
:Wet brown/gray t-shirt contest
:Midget wrestling featuring the champ "T-rex"

and many more activities. Don't miss the festivities

VIP PLACEMENT AVAILABLE/SPACE IS LIMITED
DON'T DELAY, RESERVE YOUR SEAT TODAY

:strict dress code, khaki pants/shirt
:boots a must, under ware optional
:coverage, $10.00 per man/couple $15.00
:cash app accepted/ postal stamps preferred
:a non-disclosure form must be signed
:bring your own drink-mix, soup if desired. 190 ware available
: Eye wash/showers on premises

RSVP ONLY

BRING A FRIEND/TELL A FRIEND
NOT A COP

DIDDY AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON US.
Bring your own baby oil/lube

I can't put all the stuff on here that they added, like an image of a Mansion, fancy borders or the large print that only a computer can give, but you get the jist. All in a days work place grab-ass.

You know it's funny, but, I keep my distance from these guys, I seldom hold any long conversations with them, I'm a loner etc. and I work these guys, hard. But in spite of this, they still respect me and joke around with me. I am really blessed and really appreciate the way these guys treat me ... I wish I was half the man they think I am.

Peace be with you

 

Bruceton Mills, 12-28-2024