We Are Not All Creted Equal

There was a time when fear held me in its rough hands, I was a pale convict with half a mind and I ran from my ancestry, I wanted to be normal, to not care. I wanted to lie down my wit and to take up the shield of denial and for a time I did, but I could not sustain it, it was not in my DNA to be like the masses any more than it was my nature too blame others for my errors. I am different from the masses, insane in the eyes of those with walled degrees. Then it happened, I went to sleep  and woke up. And when that happened, I knew that I was not one of them, I knew that I had been selected even before this body had been enlivened. I knew that I was of the Light.

My life, even after awakening, has not been easy, because in spite of the inner revelation I had recently experienced, guilt came for its pound of flesh, "I am my brother's keeper," and "Love they neighbor," it said. And as a result, I told myself to be compassionate, and being that I was blessed with good moral fiber, I listened to the voice that careened the secret guilt of that supposed truth, and I began to doubt, and this doubt crushed the more apparent truth illustrating that I was more willing, more able, that I was better than most. The dark voice in my head hammered me with guilt, constantly reminding me that it was a sin for me to elevate myself, my thoughts, my desires and my knowledge above the masses. It told me that I had broken the covenant of equality, for I had dared to think that I, because of my willingness to work, to improve myself, had advanced my mind to encompass the meaning of the word "individuality". I had dared to seek what others refused to even contemplate, and that I was therefore a sinner.

Television said, books said, music said, the scriptures' said and the government said, "All people are created equal. Love thy neighbor. Share what you have. Have pity on the poor," but prison was illuminating a different truth. Prison was teaching me that books, the entertainment industry, religion and government all had an agenda geared towards mental and physical slavery. Prison was showing me that some people simply try harder than other people and were therefore entitled to more; be that more time in prison or more compassion; be that more success or more failure. Prison was showing me an alternate reality than the one the voice of compassion spoke of. Prison was showing me that, my neighbor had rejected common things like honor and moral fiber and that even though there were good folks here, whom I could love, there were others here who would rape your infant daughter if permitted. Prison was showing me that most of my brothers were mentally or spiritually lazy, so why should I share what I have earned with those unwilling to work for their own share; their own advancement? Oh how the new trees weep for the old brown leaves.

Prison has definitely jaded me, yet educated me to who and what I am in the eyes of the All, and I am here to say that no book, no religion, no entertainer and no government has experienced what I have experienced. Yet, I have been where they are, so I do not fault them for their beliefs, but they are just that, beliefs of the masses. Good I hope, but different none the less. Yes, I confess it here; I am guilty of breaking the laws concerning Pride and Free Thought. Yes, I am guilty of questioning the hypnosis of the status quo. Yes, I am guilty of gazing at the stars, the home of my ancestors. I did it. I wished to know the mysteries, how could that be a sin? Yet, in the eyes of some, it is... I only desired to better myself not be above my brothers and sisters. I who was born "trash" stood while others of my ilk sat and it destroyed me, but in that destruction, I became a god.

It is dark here. The flame within me stands still. I see a tunnel before me and I am alone, with only my groping mind to take me through it. I am NOT afraid.

 

 

Bastrop, TX. 7/23/26