~ FREEDOM..... IS IT REALLY YOU ~
By Chris Deraleau
Part 2
Five years had passed this time... sixty months.... one thousand-eight hundred and twenty-five days... the thought of being free again was liberating. i cannot say that was all that i had been thinking. there is the other side to that. most inmates once released simply have to maintain. stay sober and acquire a job. unless they commit another felony, they are home free.... that is not what it is like at all for me. ive explained the registration in detail previously. i have had many dreams about crossing some sort of line with the registration, and the warrant was out for my arrest. at that point, life is either run, surrender or die. i am haunted by the thought of all the ways i could be ensnared. i very well may be physically about to walk out of the institution itself... but the hands of the system i will forever feel all over my soul. trauma. My release date was uncertain during my final days at trumbull. Riggs had told me he could easily provide a ride for me and his family would more then likely allow me to stay with them at his childhood home until my mother could make it to pick me up, that way i wouldn't have to be waiting in the prison parking lot until midnight. because the earned credit could be applied at any given time, due to my education classes i had passed, giving me immediate release, there was absolutely no way to know when that hour would strike. all i knew was, at some point between December 15th and january 1st, my case manager would come and tell me to pack my things, the front gate is open and i needed to leave.. its a bizarre thought. the prison telling me to get out, i couldn't stay. i remember the last time i spoke with Riggs. he had already given me his mothers contact information and she would be ready when i was released. she didnt live too far away from the prison. maybe 30 minutes. my mother would be coming from mount vernon ohio, and that is a distance for her. we sat at the round table in the art room. Riggs had been making small christmas trees out of card board and painting them. he wrapped them all in varieties of multi colored yarn. they honestly looked great. Riggs is an exceptionally good artist and craftsman with the limited supplies he does have access to. he went above and beyond to help get me involved in as much as he could there at trumbull. i appreciate this greatly. there we sat. i remember the laughs and the talks. i remember the last time i walked out of the art room. i remember that last walk down the twisting walkways as Riggs headed towards 12 east and i headed to 14 east. we shook hands. "if i dont see you again.. just know you are appreciated.. ill be praying for your parole date brother... keep your head towards that sky brother." "oh i know ill be alright, 2 years to go. God has a plan for me, and you know what, if they do give me another 5 or 10 after ive done this 20 years flat, ill just keep on painting. and one day, when its all over, we'll sit back and ill take you with me and we can paint those barns and all those country farm houses that need some life to em'. " he gave me that final wave as he stepped inside his concrete castle... of course he didnt know it would be the last time he would see me... and it happened just like that... that was the last time i ever saw him... the moon was but a silver crescent, a beacon of hopes and dreams hanging over the prison, whispering gently to us all. the attentive and the lost. the young and the old. "keep dreaming creatures... look to me and know there is more beyond it all..." Riggs' dream was to one day paint his art all over barns and tall grain silos all across ohios country side.. in some sort of window into my mind i can see him there, on an old metal framed scaffold, the sun setting in the background. there would be paint on his clothes, and a smile on his face. he would turn around and have an immaculate view of those beautiful rolling ohio hills. he would see far and wide as he took in a long meaningful breath. and there, atop that rise, he would feel that freedom once again... he would finally make his peace with life, and his peace with God....