Back in 1997 during my first trial by a jury of my peers, one of the local reporters that covered my trial was, Alison Kosik, she's now the Financial Reporter for CNN - I see her on TV every now and then. Proud of her, and yeah, I'm bragging about knowing her - well, I kinda know her - I mean we talked - I mean she once yelled to me from across the room to ask if I was guilty. Anyway, I do have that connection to her ... what ever, dude.
10 to 12 years ago while at FCI Three Rivers I met a guy from North Carolina, named Chad Hollamon. Chad had a big sentence but after 17 years or so was granted Clemency and released. Well deserved! I say that because Chad was one of the guys who was actively trying to improve himself.
After being released Chad went to work trying to help build a support group to help ex-cons and their families and, like me, he is a writer. Yes, he wrote a book that has recently been published called "Cries For Carteret" ... I highly recommend this book ... uhh, yeah, I'm in it - but that's not the reason I recommend you read it - well, not the ONLY reason ... just read the darn book! and quit bustin' my chops!
Now Chads book is selling really well - of course I want to help him wrangle up some readers - OK! OK! - because I'm in the damned book, alright. Happy! Jesus, you guys are a bunch of Nazi's. Anyway, I was trying to think of ways that I could help promote this book (drop it ) and I remembered my connection to Alison, and I thought, wow, IF she would, she could really help him, so I sent Chad a message and told him to contact her and, since we know each other, sort of, to use my name as an introduction ... yeah, that's when it happened, you know that sound of a record needle being dragged across a vinyl record - you know, the harsh scratch sound they use in the movies to signal an abrupt stop. Yeah, it was that sound. Why you ask? Well ... like I told Chad - she just might not have a favorable impression of me ... no, not because of my case ... why you ask ... well ... ummm ... well, at my trial she caught me trying to look up her skirt.
Oh, STOP IT! It wasn't like that - well, not exactly like that, anyway. Here's what happened.
First, let me say that she's built like a brick shit house. Like she was supposed have been six foot two, but God pushed her down to about five feet two and all that extra just packed into the right places ... she's one of those little women who are built perfect, not her fault, not mine for noticing ... I mean if you have to blame somebody for what happened, blame God, you get my point.
Now if you remember, the Air Conditioning went out in the Court House and so they moved my trial to the High School Auditorium like a Shakespeare play or something. So me and the jury, judge and prosecutors were up on the stage and the audience was in the the auditorium seats meaning, we were sitting slightly above the audience. And, for the record, the seats in this auditorium are like the seats you see in movie theaters, you know the ones where the bottom folds up, yeah, those seats. Well, on the relevant day Alison comes in wearing a short skirt. Well, when she went to sit into one of those movie seats, on the front row, something happened and she kind of fell back into it, and when she did, for just a split second, her legs opened, and, well ... you know. As for me, I of course was minding my own business and innocently looked down at the exact moment this happened and got an accidental ... peek.
See, that's not so bad, right ... Why would she hate me for that, right? I mean, shell never know, right! Well, that's not the whole story, either. You see ... at the exact moment I took a sneak peek, she catches me looking. Yeah. It was just like that too. I looked up and our eyes locked onto each other, and SON ... she was giving me the meanest look you ever saw ... I wanted to holler that it was a damn accident! It was a damned ACCIDENT I tell you. What was I supposed to do, not look? For gods sake, Billy Graham would've looked! Yeah, ughh, it was the worlds worst timing, too. All I could think about was her on the evening news, "Mayor Mark is a MONSTER I tell you!" Damn, that was some buzzard luck, for sure. BUT!! It's been 26 years, maybe she has forgiven me. And IF she would help Chad, it would be huge.
My point for telling yo all this is - get the damned book, and pass the word along to your FB friends.
"Cries For Carteret" by Chad Hollamon.
Peace be with you ... and for gods sake, you never know what can happen, so wear knickers! WHAT!! No I'm not sayin' that! Stop tryin' to get me in trouble!
Bruceton Mills, 11-28-22