Last Sunday morning I, along with a few others were participating in our weekly, one hour, outside recreation. It was a beautiful calm morning; the air was fresh and I, like everyone else was enjoying the chance to stretch our legs by walking on the track here at TVs.
Due to all the Civil unrest out there I was feeling a little melancholy, and I ain’t ashamed to admit it. I was actually worried about my family, those are the things that were going through my mind on that precious morning. I know, I know… I’ve spoken at length in my book “Where No One Hears Me” about how we prisoners have to guard ourselves against being consumed by our emotions; we can not worry about things beyond our control. But, it was one of those days when I was feeling sorry for myself – I haven’t seen my kids in six months and am constantly (TV and Radio) reminded of my own experiences with a bad Justice System… something I am trying to move past, but, truth is, once experienced it can never be forgotten. In spite of all that, I was trying to keep a positive attitude. After all, I was outside and even though I couldn’t touch them, there were trees not 200 paces from me; I was outside and I could feel something beautiful calling me. But, as always, when a person is trying to find goodness, the ol’ devil, per se, tries to ruin it.
As I was walking and trying to find some peace I couldn’t help but hear the conversations going on around concerning what’s going on out there. One fellow in particular, he calls himself “Truth”…NOT… was making all kinds of racial comments. He of course is too ignorant to even realize that he himself is a racist. I’m not going to go into all that, and I don’t want to think or debate this, the truth is, the world is full of blind and ignorant folks…. and prison has a disproportionate number.
Now, like I was saying, I just wanted to spend my one hour in peace and harmony. I was tired of hearing all the negativity on the TV, the radio, and in the conversations around me… I just wanted to be alone, to smile, and to enjoy what little part of nature is afforded me, for one hour.
Finally I realized that if I were to have any peace at all I needed to get as far away from these stupid sons-a-bitches as I could. I know that was uncalled for, and even, INSENSITIVE, right …. but it’s the FORKING truth, so deal with it! Anyway, I left the track and walked to the other side of the yard and sat down on the ground …. and I began to pray that God would come and either fix this world, or destroy it and start again. “What the hell are you waiting for!” I asked. I waited, but again there was no answer, either God wasn’t listening, or doesn’t care, or, my prayers don’t count. Whatever the reason, the facts remain the same…”Why don’t you do something?”
When our hour of fresh air was over, I put my mask back on and joined the group as we returned to our cells, but my heart was hurting… I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but, that is not possible for one like me – 24 hours a day in a 8×12 box with another person — one who, I might add, doesn’t look like Angelina Jolie 🙂 I can only dream, right!!
I have learned over the years that I cannot allow negative circumstances to rule how I feel. I’ve also learned to recognize when I’m being controlled by negativity — things beyond my control to fix. So, to combat this I have developed the practice of “Counting my Blessings” per se, and you know what … even a leper has things to be grateful for. So I began to count them off. I have three children who have never abandoned nor denied me and my grandchildren all love me. I have good health, my own teeth, SOME of my hair… and I have you, my, obviously low IQ readers — my 14 followers included – Thank you! And Just last week it came to my attention that Moises Soto put a picture of himself on my FB page wearing a shirt that read “Free Mayor Mark”, I have a picture of my granddaughter Isabella wearing an identical shirt. Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for.
Maybe God is listening.

The following day the Warden fixed our TVs so that we couldn’t watch the news… no, don’t go to ragging on her, truth is, she did the right thing. In fact, if you want my advice, this would be good for you as well … quit watching the News altogether, both sides– Fox and CNN, and all those in-between they’re garbage! Stop watching them and they’ll go away and so will your ill feelings – yep, that’s what they do, control how you feel about things… Don’t allow your emotions to be controlled by someone else. Turn them off, trust me, in a week or so you’ll feel a whole lot better about life.

A Few Good Things

Like some of y’all we are wearing masks. I don’t like it, but if I want to get any time out of my cell, I have to wear one. And you know what?… Well, If I’m wearing a mask, I can talk to myself, and NO ONE KNOWS IT! Yeah, now I can go batshit crazy and no one can tell. That’s a good thing, right!?

Something Else
In my “Shot Caller Series” I told you about a friend of mine called “Ben” (Vo Tran). Well, Ben has been released from prison!!! Much love and respect to him and his family — he has young children, and I know they are happy to have him home.

Something Else Positive-
Remember when I told you how corrupt the Justice System in America is? (Blog Entry date 8-22-19)? Well, here’s some new proof. Ronald Jeffery Prible.
Sound familiar? Well, he’s the guy Mike (Rocco) Beckcom put on death Row in 2003. Yeah Mike Beckcom, the same guy who put me here. Well, Mr. Prible has just had his conviction overturned! Now I don’t have all the details yet, but I’m told that Law Enforcement AND the Federal Prosecutor in his case fabricated evidence against him in order to garner a conviction … oh yeah, and their witness, Beckcom, lied. He lied in my case too – and the Judge in my case, Olive Wanger, and I quote… “concluded that Beckcom had lied in some parts of his statements and testimony against his former boss,” Yeah, that’s the judge’s own words out there on the web for anyone to see. So, do you think these lying cops and crooked Federal Prosecutors will be fired for their evil actions against Mr. Prible? NO!!! They Won’t! They are never held accountable, and you wonder why folks are so angry!!! Nope I ain’t angry, in fact I’m just very happy that the truth about Beckcom is out and our Justice System is coming to light. Well, that, and I think that Mr. Prible might have the evidence to get my conviction overturned … Happy for you, Mr. Prible!!!

Well, that’s all for now — thanks for reading this and please “Share” it with your own FB friends.

Peace be with you.

Three Rivers, 6-4-20