Text #, Follow Up, and Tuna Fish in the Oatmeal

I want to let you know that I appreciate the fact that you’re reading my blog, thank you. If you want to contact me concerning it you can do so by text @ 513-322-7717, but remember I do not have a phone, I am using a computer, so unless you put a name after EVERY message I won’t know who I’m communicating with. Remember also that I am in prison and there is no absolute guarantee that I’ll get it, but I get most of them, so try me…also there is no quick response time either, so be patient.

“Follow Up”

I had some responses to my “Queers in Prison” post. Thanks. As a follow up I will tell you that there have been rumors aplenty, none of which I give any credibility too, but I will respond to yall by saying that dude was a damn mental patient, and like I said, prison is hard enough on guys like him without him adding to the problem.

I try to keep my personal opinions in check on things like this, but, I also owe it to you to be honest about what I have experienced in here…so I’m gonna tell ya that most of the homosexuals in prison are nothing but trouble, drama queens, pun intended. So much so, that on my very first day in Federal Prison, in my orientation at USP Florence, one of the speakers said this, ” Guys get killed here. So my advice to you is to stay away from the drugs, the gambling, the alcohol and the Punks. You do that, and you might make it out of here alive.” I have never forgotten that, never. And for the most part I have followed his advice…WHAT!! …NO! …It wasn’t the Fag rule I violated! It was the alcohol rule. Yall need to quit watchin’ them prison movies, and get your minds out of the gutter…Yes! I mean No, I wouldn’t admit to it if it did happened… but it didn’t ok!! You just gotta trust me on this one.

“Tuna Fish”

I heard they were serving grits in the Chow Hall this morning, so I grabbed some salt and pepper and headed over there. Well, when I got there I saw that it was oatmeal, instead. I like oatmeal, so I picked up a tray and went and scooped some out, that would be ladled some out for you uppity types, and sat down to eat.

As I was about to eat my first spoonful, the guy across from me says, “Is that Tina Fish in the oatmeal?” Now this was such a preposterous statement that I thought he was making a joke about the food…I laughed and took a bite…tasted ok. Then the other guy at the table points to his tray full of oatmeal and says, ” That is Tuna Fish… and celery too!” And sure a Jesus is a Jew there was Tuna Fish in the oatmeal…as we looked closer it was absolutely verified…there was oatmeal and celery, in the oatmeal…made me want to gag…for the record: I had gotten my oatmeal from a different pan than they had…mine was ok…still made me want to gag.

To say that I was appalled would be an understatement – and it was about all I could do to keep from grabbing one of those trays and carrying it over the the Lieutenant on duty…but that would have been snitching out the guard working, so I didn’t do it…I have a rule: I don’t snitch, not on the prisoners and not on the guards.

No, the Guards didn’t do it – but they are responsible for the sanity that is supposed to take place in any food preparation… Now I know that the ultimate responsibility for this belongs on the inmate who picked up a dirty pan and poured fresh food into it, there’s no denying that fact. Sorry, Lazy and Don’t give a crap, would be how you could describe 90% of these guys – nope, ain’t hatin’, just speakin’ the truth. In fact, at any given meal there are no less than thirty of these sorry SOBs working behind the counter, you’d think that somebody would give a damn, but the ugly truth is that they’re so busy trying to figure out how to steal stuff that they can’t do their jobs, and that’s why this kinda stuff happens. If it was up top me, I’d fire every one of them and hire ten to twelve guys who have some self dignity about themselves and pay them the same as you would the hundred or so freeloaders on the payroll now…no you don’t need all those people, they just hire them to give ’em something to do…that would become such a coveted job that you wouldn’t have any of the shenanigans you now have, and the food would be top notch; that or make the guards eat in there with us, then they’d give a hoot about what’s goin’ on in there…but no, we can’t do that…hell we might hurt somebody’s feelings…whole damn thing just irritates me. Ok. I finished bitchin’. You know what…I actually feel better. Thanks for listening.

Peace be with you…and whatever you do, Don’t try the Tuna Fish Oatmeal thing

Three Rivers, 7-10-17