A friend of mine received some pictures of his son; being the proud father that he is, he showed ’em to me. Of course, being the dog I am, I couldn’t help but notice the women in the photo with the boy. So, I asked “Who’s the woman?”
“My ex-wife” he answers.
“Damn. No disrespect intended, but, she’s way too hot for you,” I said with a smile … a moment of silence, then I add, “Ex-wife? How the hell could you let a woman who looks like that get away?”
Another moment of silence … “She was F-ing around on me,” he answered with a finality of condemnation in his voice. “Oh” was all I could say.
As I walked away I couldn’t get that woman out of my mind, nor his words about her … “She was F-ing around on me,” wow, how could I not be moved into the waters of deep thought … him, her, the boy … their family. “She was F-ing around on me.”
You know, when I was a younger man I was a complete fool, wrong about most everything possible from politics to religion, from GOD to people. I was as are most of us, controlled by my emotions, they and the ego they serve. I was completely duped in my total identification with this persona of Mark, and since the body is of this physical world my identification with it caused me to take everything personally, especially the things other people said and did … “She was F-ing around on me,” … well, what ever happened, broke up a family – but, I’m sure there was a lot more to it than just her, “F-ing around” Yes … probably lots more, but, who’s to say. If you’ve read my stuff to any degree you know that I am a great respecter of women, nothing has changed.
I had a woman one time who, in my mind, was the most beautiful woman on the planet … man was I hooked on her … but, she was a hopeless flirt and I, an insecure idiot; a bad combination, but, like I said, she was beautiful and fun to be around, not her fault that she was so frigging hot and not her fault that every guy she met wanted to get in her pants.
I read allot, most prisoners do. Awhile back I read a book called, “The Shroud Conspiracy” … the only thing I remember about that book is something the author said about women. Now, I don’t remember what he said verbatim, but I will share the jist of it with you in order to make my final point. This is what I remember, in a nut shell …
“There are 4 types of women that interest me. First, there’s “Cute” girls. Cute girls are usually Tom-boys. When you bring a cute girl home you’re mom wants you to marry her, your brother falls in love with her … cute girls look great on ball caps. Cameron Diaz would be an example of a this type of beauty.
“The second type is a “Pretty” woman. When you go out with a Pretty girl all the guys look at her and admire her. She’s pretty and you’re proud to be seen with her. Pretty girls are on the cover of fashion magazines the world over.
“The third type of woman who interests me is “Beautiful”. A beautiful women is just that, she’s stunning. When you walk into a room full of people with a beautiful women everyone looks, even other women, they can’t help themselves because she is something to admire – Angelina Jolie is an example of a beautiful woman.
“The fourth type of woman that interests me is, “Gorgeous”. This type of woman is what every man desires. When a man sees a gorgeous woman he can only think of one thing, he wants to have sex with her. Is it a chemical thing? I don’t know, but, women who fall into this category are often not beautiful, or pretty, or cute even, but they have this pure lust about ’em that drives men crazy. Men buy them anything they want, they leave their happy homes for ’em. Marilyn Monroe was an example of a woman with this type of sexual prowess.”
My point is this. My friends ex-wife and the my girl of long ago both fall into that last category. Hell, I just looked at the pictures of my friends ex-wife and I wanted to buy her a car! No, its true. Some women have that appeal to men, it ain’t their fault. Now you may be thinking that it would be a gift to have this kind of pull on the opposite sex, but trust me, being a HOT female is not a gift, it’s actually a curse. How can that be you ask? Well, for one, I don’t think it’s easy for these types of women to find a stable relationship. Hard to understand, well, think about this for a moment. How would your life be if everywhere you went you were hit on by every person you meet. I mean women like this can’t even go to the supermarket without some guy wanting to have sex with them. They are tempted at work, in the mall, in a bar, even in places of worship. Who among us can honestly say that they could resist every person or every moment of every day; we all have moments of weakness, I mean even Jesus had his moment in the Garden, and sooner or later, possibly in a moment of weakness, they succumb to the temptation. “She was F-ing around on me.”
The question I’m asking you to consider is this: why is monogamy so important to us? Forget all your religious beliefs and ask yourself why it even matters who you or your partner have sex with … it ain’t love, its just sex; is monogamy more important than being with someone you love? In my opinion we would be better off, as a society, if we weren’t so hung up on this whole idea of controlling who our partners are attracted to. In truth, I think its more about out own insecurities than any thing else. Also, most people, if not all people are occasionally attracted to other people and ultimately end up cheating as a result. This whole monogamy idea is nothing more than a catalyst for ill feelings. People are attracted to other people; God made us that way. And because of this attraction to other folks we fall prey to our desires, and in order to fulfill those desires, we lie to our partners and sneak around behind their backs and when we are eventually caught, well, it is always ugly and hurtful.
I have told you before and will always tell you what a fool I’ve been. If I had it to do all over again, I’d let that super hot chick I was dating do her own thing; be the hopeless flirt she was … and love her no matter what she did inside or outside out relationship.
Things to think about.
Peace be with you, each and all. Mark
Three Rivers, 4-8-21